The right words

                I just kept the phone down. And thought of the innumerable things I could have spoken, but didn't. How strange that later you get all the words right, appropriate for the situation which if you would have used. might have got the result you wanted. Never mind ! said the inner being which resides as if in oblivion, but nevertheless springs up at times. Well why does it happen, am yet to find out.
                        Caught unaware, a call that you are not expecting, puts you off gear. Well you have a choice of not taking it if you don't want to. But...you do anyway, on an impulse as if its a moral responsibility to take every call...Oh ! this unwired cell world ! I sent an sms and the person immediately called !! Not that I didn't want to take the call. But then couldn't speak in the natural way I do usually.
                 What does it take to put forth the real 'you' irrespective of the people, the situation ? Why do we become selective/defensive when it comes to projecting ourselves ? Why does the approval of 'other' matter ? I liked what I read somewhere...'Its o.k. to be hated for what I am than be loved for what I am not'.

That something...

called 'Pain'. Am not talking about the physical pain, it has to be endured or relieved with man made stuff. The pain that happens to the psyche...hits the core...Victor Frankl says that gives meaning to life. Somehow I strongly want to disagree but that's the truth I have to affirm. I had this notion that life was all about 'Being Happy' all the time or at least most of the time. But 'Pain' teaches many things...the journey from 'not having' to attaining...having finally, and then to feel satisfied. One has to keep his cup empty or near empty if he 'craves' 'something'. And pain does that I guess i.e. makes one's cup empty so that the need gets created once again. The Need, the desire is beautiful. It gives meaning to life...Its not strife that counts but the steps taken during the process, the baby steps is what matters.