I Ponder...

With eagerness I open the blog window and the blankness of the screen doesn't seem all that void. It sort of lures the pneuma to come out and talk. So here I am, starting the day with a date with the self ? the wired humans ? Well the more I am connected with myself, the more I can give out to the world out there...

Stop ! said Zohra. Enough of your inner thoughts. Come out, there is this project pending for chrissake ! Elen had no intentions of stirring from her place. Today she just wanted to be with herself... Herself ? Or was it him that had pulled her thoughts. Damn. She said to herself. Somethings just wouldn't leave the corners of her heart. Jim had been haunting her off late. She had known him since a long time. They were not friends exactly so as to say, Both were happily married with doting spouses and adorable kids.

Why was this attraction ? Didn't make sense. Well the heart has reasons the mind can't comprehend. Hmm ! Middle age crisis ? She had discussed with Zohra a couple of times. No use. Sometimes no one can offer solace. Or maybe she didn't want to listen. O.k. she sighed and rose from her desk and with a vigour that sprang out of nowhere, she said,'Come on zoha let's get done with the project'. And the time flew. It was always like that. Once she was engrossed in the work then the world ceased to exist. There...that was the problem. Once she was involved then everything except the thing she was into, seemed to disappear into oblivion. And she liked those moments. She was selfish enough to soak up those moments. Moments..there...she lived the moments. Because that's what counted didn't it ? Yes, for happiness. Happiness ? A momentary one ? or that lingered perhaps for days ? And then what ? Elen hated that 'then what' thing. Suddenly she remembered Tommy her 8 year old son who was complaining about her not giving him enough time. She had promised to take him out today. With his loving face on top of her mind, she waved bye to Zohra and started towards home. Home...Ronny, her hubby. She loved him dearly. Oh ! god ! she mused...Everything is in place. Its o.k. to feel what she felt but Tom and Ron mattered the most, whatever. Jim mattered too but in a different way.