The Letter

                    ....I shall wait for him. Do I deserve him ? His companionship ? Or is it the other way round ? Whether he deserves me ? Our eyes have met, locked with no feelings, many times. The moments we looked into each other were not at all uncomfortable. Silence spoke many times. He appreciated me in the past. We communicated-verbally, and eye to eye. Each of us made the other feel 'special'. And to some extent. We could go beyond. We didn't which's fine. I have a world of my own, he has his. We do not communicate much. Not the way we used to. Reason ? I told him, I felt for him. Though he didn't recede, he didn' t come closer either. I know he cares. Oh ! how much I want him to care. Its strange.we share the same land, breathe the same air, we meet often but when we meet we are farther apart. Its in his absence I feel his presence strongly. In a way I like it when I am not with him. I can have him much closer, at my will. I know I am selfish. I want all of him. I'll wait when I shall have him for  moments. And they will be frequent. I shall live a happy life, a fulfilled life. A solace to know that he owns me and I own him, in a way which the cosmos knows. Him, me and eternity. No one exists here. Utopia, one might say or some will say you both will get bored of each other. No, we are very much with people but what we share, the special place we have for each other, exists in a sweet mysterious way, a conspiracy, the universe shares.Sometimes its enough to know that he exists. I meet him in his own beingness. He does not know how often I meet him. Its a beautiful secret that I share with me. Its pain many times but I have endured. I shall wait...
                           Shashank read the letter. It had accidentally fallen off from her purse. She was in the kitchen, chatting with his sister. He wondered who this 'he' might be. And just when she came out with the coffee tray, their eyes met...in eternity and he knew it was for him. He was in a dilemma. How could anyone feel so strongly, he thought. He had never wanted to marry. He liked her company. He thought she was beautiful too. But that's it. He had plenty of other things to do. His regular Tennis sessions, his pals, the weekend booze party, the paragliding lessons he  was taking, his job, his writings, music...he loved music, played guitar at times. And then movies. Where was the time for the emotion called love ? But the words in the letter sort of bound him to her.  And she would wait ? Heck ! He hated to hurt someone and specially her. What did she mean 'own..'. How can anyone own ? Well its her feelings. But why should that bother him ? She knew his kind. Still she felt !! He felt like drawing her close and explaining what he was. But he didn't. Yes, she can wait. And he had to wati too, till he was clear about what was happening. How much of what he felt, was he comfortable with, did he really need that ? Companionship ? Now ? No these questions had to wait. He had no answer. Meanwhile he noticed the loose strand of hair slip through her forehead and onto her eyes and when she looked again, yes, he didn't see any  overt feelings. And they talked as usual and parted an hour later. Her phone rang and when she said,'Yes darling ! I am on my way...', his heart skipped a beat. He almost stopped her and asked who it was. She didn't answer, just looked at him as if searching for something in the depth of his eyes. She found nothing and she parted. He said,' I shall wait...'.